Idealization
by zoroXluffy
Summary: Our Uzumaki plus a certain 'inexperianced' Uchiha make One hell of a great movie! But when idealization is compressed in a seal of hate and jealously on both sides, will the worlds greatest AV actors ever give into the gravity of their feelings?


**Disclaimer:**If I was the creator of Naruto then Sasuke and Naruto would have had sex as soon as their eyes first lay on each others grown bodies in Shippuuden. Bet you wish I was the creator now don't you?

**AN: **Hey guys! This is my first yaoi story and, to be honest, its the first fan fiction I have ever really written. I just watched the first episode of Naruto Shippuuden in 2008 XD - I just had to write something to let out my excitement! Well, any of you who have watched Haru wo Daiteta ita may realise what inspired me to write this. My story, I hope, won't disappoint you. :D

**Warnings:** 1) This story will contain yaoi/shouen-ai. You have been warned. Also, **later** chapters will contain lemons. AV actors are Adult Video actors, so there will obviously be a few lemons dotted around the place. If you feel uncomfortable with any of the before mentioned, or just feel too chicken today, then read the story and become comfortable, got it? -says in an intimidating manner- .- Or… you could click the 'back button'…

2) There is a possibility that some of you may think Sasuke acts a little OOC around Naruto. (please note this will probably not apply to any of my fellow Sasuke haters. Although, I happen love Sasuke when he's getting it on with a certain blonde :D)

**Rated M**

- _Phew! _that was a lot of warnings…you can tell I'm a newbie who is just trying to stay on the safe side. J

**Thanks and Praise goes to ****xXxAngelVxXx**** who beta****'****d this for me **

_May the story commence!_

--

_**Idealization **_

Chapter 1 Sasuke's brain

'I can't take it anymore!'

I slammed my foot down heavily on the accelerator, ignoring the speed limit. Why it was so urgent to go to this fruitless press conference, I'll never know. What was the point when they just kept on asking you the same old, same old?!

"Sasuke- kun, why did you become an AV actor?"

"Sasuke- sama, do you _enjoy _working with your partners?"

"Uchiha-san, are you thinking of settling down soon, retiring perhaps?"

"Sasuke- sama, how much longer are you planning on prolonging your career?"

"Have you ever had a girl-friend Sasuke-kun? Oh…so am I correct in saying that your gay?"

All those kind of damned questions! It was obvious that they were all just curious about why I had stayed such an atypical actor for so long. It was none of their god damned business why I became an AV actor and didn't care who I bloody worked with because I'm a professional! I guess when the time came to settle down, I would settle down and I haven't even _considered _retiring yet!

I despise how it seemed a fact in the world of acting that you had to be a young, fresh and new talent to stay in the romance films. In the reality, how could the age of twenty-five possibly be branded as old?!

And most importantly, just because I kissed a man in my last movie does NOT make _me_ gay! Why do they only hound ME about these trivial things?!

Okay, as you can see, I was just a _tad _pissed off with my life.

I had been so carried away with yelling at the imaginary interviewers in the vast fact-based portion of my brain, that I had almost crashed into a poor old lady crossing right in front of me. Now even she was getting on my nerves. All smug, dragging her apparently heavy feet and making them slide across the road. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't making way for her at a zebra crossing or anything like that. If I had been, I wouldn't have been stupid enough to have stopped for her. I was sitting at one of those many cross roads, glaring at the green man from the pedestrians point of view.

I sighed in relief as the man changed red and then focused my attention back to the drivers lights.

After what seemed like a couple of minutes the lights finally flashed amber telling me to put my foot on the gas.

However, my car was forced to a jerking halt not long after it had just started. I growled in frustration when I noticed that it was that arrogant old bitch- of who was still in front of me. It had been so long I'd forgotten about her, why the hell was she still here?! Roads were made for cars, not wrinkly haggard old women.

Ever had that feeling when you can't be bothered to rush things, so you then become _overly_ patient? Well, even if you don't, that's how I was feeling at that moment.

The granny crossed in front of my bonnet but then suddenly stopped halfway through her journey to get past my car. Her head rolled round her saggy neck as she gradually turned to face me. Her eyes- which in truth were sucked into her skull, peered interferingly into my windscreen. What in the world did she think she was doing?

I chuckled slightly; this must've been the reason why she took so long crossing the road. Old women and their hobbies eh? I couldn't understand why anyone would possibly want to gawp at every single driver sitting in every single conveyance…

Finally she showed evidence of consciousness. She waved at me, and then her hand gesture was followed by a wink.

I sat there mortified for a couple of seconds, but willingly shook it off. I got a lot of this-considering my occupation. Never the less, it wasn't exactly every day that I got a wink or even a sign of recognition from an old woman. I didn't think such people would approve of my literally naked appearance on their screens at home.

"Finally!", I grumbled when she got off the road. Waiting for the lights to turn green again annoyed me to no end, even though I wasn't really in a hurry. I had about an hour and a half before my press conference started, but then again I'm a right old girl when it comes to getting ready and making the right appearance. It's not like I'm some sort of gay man…I just don't like looking like some old fuddy-duddy.

Even though I do consider myself to be straight and narrow, there is this one exception.

That arrogant son of a God. Yes- God. It's a 'love-hate' sort of feeling I have towards the guy. I've to the assumption that I'm just a little jealous of him, but when I go over the script for the new movie, I get this unorthodox feeling. I mean, I never get embarrassed about the touchy-feely things I have to do with my colleagues. I've come to the conclusion that there's just too many soppy scenes, and because I'm such a great actor I _really _get into character…-well, at least that's what I'm forcing myself to believe. And the touchy-feeling things that I have been used to in the past are a little less intense than the stuff I'm being forced to put up with.

That's another thing. I'm the one who has to _put up _with all this.

Besides, how could I even acknowledge the runt. He doesn't actually deserve the position he has at such an age. Why the hell does everyone think that an idiot with ugly star-shaped hair could possibly play my character better than me?! And then that same idiot has the cheek to tell me that I'm just 'jealous'. Wait a second…did I say I was _jealous _before? Well, I've changed my mind. I am everything _but_ jealous. This movie is just ruining what I have become accustomed to.

Sure, I _am_ the main character…but this time I didn't want to play his pathetic role.

No. It's not right. I don't even know why I even signed all those contracts when I found out that that little twerp apparently fitted _my_ role better. The character I play now just hammers away at my pride.

_My _role is usually the one I think I suite the most. I'm usually right, but this time the author of the book said there was something amazing about the connection between me and the main character and that the aura I give off fits him so perfectly. I mean, how do I seem amazingly alike to a pale gaunt vampire who never has been able to feel any emotion but desperately wants to suck the blood of a gorgeous hot blonde BOY?

I started to wonder why I was thinking about it so hard- I have said, or to be more specific, thought: "I mean,-" many a time during this voyage of mine. (1) That's something I tend to do when I'm in some moody mood.

People seem to _think _that I'm an enigma. Emotionless and thick-skinned, because of the man they see in magazines and on their screens of course. It's all to do with the contrast between myself and all those other male actors or models. Their all too soft- but I hold pride. They tell the media what they want to hear- I don't see why I need to please the public- because I don't exactly get paid to do that. They all go out with famous female stars- _I couldn__'__t even if I wanted to_… (2)

I almost unconsciously arrived at my destination. I don't even know how I drove this far without even fully concentrating- that goes to show that I'm a perfect driver…in everyway.

I smirked to myself, thinking about my horrible corny thought, but I know I'm not bad at what I do. I mean, it even got me famous. Not that I ever even got close _driving _any of my passengers, seeing as, being the model I had used to be, I just posed in pictures. I never accepted any live video offers, because that would have definitely ruined my chances of becoming a movie star.

I suddenly felt familiar flutters in my stomach and grimaced. It wasn't as if we weren't allowed to "do. It" on camera- although there is rule saying that if anything too "hard core" is shown in the show, it has to be censored. No one in their right mind would want to produce an AV film with hideous blotches. That all aside, we were allowed to do it but there was no point in doing it for real if no ones going to notice what is actually going on.

I sighed heavily. That was all until Jiraiya came into the picture.

Jiraiya-sama. He's best described with one word: genius. This is a man in whom I used to respect greatly- until I met him. He's a novelist who writes scripts for his own stories whilst occasionally acting in his own movies. He also directs those movies and, as impossible as it may seem, he still finds the time to produce his movies. He is an incredible one man band, although I'm not sure if he was in his right state of mind when he asked Naruto and I to _do it _for real. Even the suggestion has traumatised me. It's actually quite hard to believe how petrified I was…

_**Flash back:- **_**no ones P.O.V**

"If you would like to consult me about any part of the script, feel free to do so. You all know where I live…"

"…" The room fell into an ambiguous silence.

"…Okay, I'm sure you've all noticed how dodgy that just sounded. All of you'd better burn my address after your business here is complete." a half serious Jiraiya warned. The room was then filled with a warm buzz of laughter.

The novelists eyes skimmed the room, landing on a typically glamorous, glaring, raven beauty who happened to be directing his glare on the fresh juicy talented young blonde he had found one day.

Jiraiya smirked, he had picked the perfect roles for his lovely play.

He quickly covered his triumphant smile before anyone thought that it was there because he was replaying the joke he made a while ago in his mind. How disgusting would that look?

"Thank-you for your time everyone. The cameras will start rolling in exactly one week from now, at one o'clock. Everyone needs to be here and ready to go over the script at 10 am sharp. No earlier, no later, but professionally on the dot. Your all dismissed…"

The actors and the crew began to scrape their chairs across the floor boards of the polished ground.

Before the murmurs of the occupants in the room broke out into full- on-blown chatting, he quickly shouted, "Except 'Andrew' and 'Raymond' !" - purposefully using the boys characters.

When Jiraiya's foreseen blast of discussion sounded, he closed his eyes and drew out a heavy sigh. How the hell was he supposed to phrase this without getting his 'perfect fit' actors to quit…

"What's up, Jiraiya-san?" Sasuke said, casually digging his hands in his pockets.

Jiraiya opened his eyes and glanced at the dark haired man, and then to Naruto, nodding his head in acknowledgment when he approached behind Sasuke's shoulder.

"Oi, Ero-Sennin! Any updates?" the blonde chirped, oblivious to the long haired man before him sweating and uncomfortably fiddling with a shaggy chunk of hair.

That man was the director himself and never before had he had such a hard time in ordering certain things to be done, but this was something different. This was something beyond asking, and for the first time in his life, the great Jiraiya-sama was lost for the right words.

"Uh, well kids, I have decided that you….um, to follow my novel…you two kinda need to…"

Jiraiya looked up from his previous gaze, which was on the amazingly shiny floor, and came face to face with Naruto's obedient ocean eyes.

He continued his stare for a couple of seconds, and then sighed in defeat. He just couldn't do it.

"Naruto…you- uh…have to grow out you hair a little. You've read my book, I trust? I'm sure you've noticed that your character has long blonde hair-"

"I apologise for my interrupting, but you don't exactly need me to be present for all this. I have things I need to do elsewhere-"

"Yeah, why does Sasuke have be to here? This is serious business between _the __**main**__ character _and his boss. Oi Teme! Just stay quiet and don't say anything, we'll be finished in a sec. Do carry on Jiraiya-sama." Naruto crossed his arms proudly.

"You know your not the main character, so don't flatter yourself. Besides, that's not why we're really here dobe. Why not stop being such an idiot and notice how he's obviously double-dealing us here." Sasuke said simply, watching how the blonde began to realise the old man's apparent agitation.

"Hey, it's not like that…" Jiraiya started lackadaisically.

"Just get to the point old man." Sasuke commanded.

"Nani?! So what are we really here for, Ero-Sennin?!" yelled Naruto, backing away slightly as he noticed the matter must be quite serious. Was he going to fire him? But he didn't do anything!

Sasuke grunted at the scene. "Dobe."

"TEME!" Naruto automatically barked.

"Pathetic." .

"BAKA"

"_Idiot_." Sasuke replied, gracefully reciprocated in English. Sasuke always claimed victory in their name calling battles whenever he did that. The reason he came to that conclusion was because Naruto always became silent after he translated the boys last insult into English. It became his triumph card, probably because the dobe didn't know what it meant.

"Teme…" Naruto grumbled, then started mumbling to himself about how he didn't need to pay attention in English, and how useless the skill was.

Jiraiya observed the scene in front of him, which he found to be quite amusing. They were like a couple of childhood friends who claimed to be 'rivals'. How cute.

"Now now kids. I'm hungry and I want to get this over with." Jiraiya announced impatiently, but instantly regretted opening his mouth when the familiar feeling of muteness came upon him as two pairs of eyes settled their full attention on him. "Um…yeah, Naruto, don't cut your hair until the filming has completed…"

"Aww, but Ero-Sennin…I like my hair the way it is. Can't I just wear a wig or something??" Naruto whined, obviously not enjoying the idea.

Jiraiya smiled, preparing himself to proceed in digging his own grave. "No. You know how realistic my work is. It's all real, which leads me on to the point. I want _everything _you do to be real-" he stated, clearly trying to imply his true meaning. Jiraiya turned and looked Sasuke straight in eye. "-and I wont take no for an answer."

He watched how the ravens little slits for eyes went massive. He stood there frozen stiff- even the great Jiraiya could not read him.

Sweat dropping, Jiraiya not very reluctantly peeled his eyes off Sasuke and moved too view Naruto's reaction.

He almost smacked his head when he noticed Naruto appeared emotionless, but the amazing Jiraiya read it, Naruto had a very blank and clueless expression.

"Sure, everything…can we go now?" the blonde said, raising an eyebrow. Sasuke's usually light and elegant visage crumpled into a heavy frown.

"Shit dobe! This guy just orders you to screw me millions of times on camera and all you can say is 'can we go'?!"

Jiraiya winced. Sasuke had just clearly declared that at least he was not going to just leave… he was in for one hell of an earful. He carefully looked at Naruto, and sighed in relief when he saw he wasn't about to explode like Sasuke.

"Now now kids, its not as bad as you may think-"

"AHHHH! HENTAI! HENTAI! HENTAI! Ero-Sennin!! No! We don't need to, you twisted Ojiji! I mean, the audience aren't actually going to realise the difference between us actually having sex and just acting, so if we act well enough, could you possibly reconsider?" Naruto pleaded, his obscure eyes almost forcing the writer to take up his offer.

"Please. Look at the two of you. You can't stand each other for more then 20 seconds before your at each others throats. I, personally, predict your acting to be horribly unwilling. I want a perfect movie and I always get what I want with my productions because if I don't like something, I chuck it out! Nothing is going to stand in my way. Is that clear?" Jiraiya wasn't asking, he was ordering.

He looked down sternly at the blonde whose eyes were fixed on the floor, his hair slightly darkening his features within its shadow. The silence that followed wasn't uneasy. It was thick, but the tension was only felt by Jiraiya because _he_ was the one waiting for his question to be answered. However, he waited patiently, just encase he triggered off anything that may scare off his actors. He wasn't sure about Naruto, but he knew that his threat in replacing them would almost definitely work on Sasuke. But deep down inside, Jiraiya regretted the said threat. He would actually do anything to keep them and make them produce a good movie.

Meanwhile, Naruto was trying his best to accept the said fate. He found it quite hard to act with the Uchiha and his sly comments, which wasn't half as bad as pretending to love him, never mind all those affectionate and extremely soppy bed scenes. Pretending to be in love with Sasuke, Naruto could compare it to kiddies games when he knew he was going to have to make it to him.

Naruto found this all too unbelievable because he had never even been in love before. He had been in many movies beforehand, in all kinds of genres. From horror, to comedy and romance. His personal manager and ex-drama teacher, Iruka-sensei, insisted that he should try out every type of film before, as Iruka himself had stated, just relaxing and waiting for the offers to come "swarming" in. The last Romance movie did not sit too well with Naruto, and he had insisted that he got replaced with someone else. Unfortunately, the director refused, and had a stuntman fill in the scenes he wasn't capable of.

Those scenes happened to be every kissing scene in the movie. He just could not stand the thought of sharing his first kiss with that girl, which he had forgotten the real name of. He remembered her to be a pig…or something around those lines. He had heard his good friend Sakura call her something like that.

Ino. That was it, but the name wasn't really the issue.

The main problem was this: Jiraiya forced Iruka to try him out in his AV movie or TV show, and after a long debate Naruto finally had to give in to the movie. No way would he do some 100 episode series with that old pervert. He wouldn't come out a virgin. Ha! To think he thought he would be safe with the movie; how very wrong was he to come to that assumption. Once Jiraiya's mind was set on something, it was impossible for it not to be carried out. It was a challenge, as the old pervert had put it. Apparently the only way to get rid of your fears was to do something much worse.

And this was much worse. 'making love' to _Sasuke__…_

His fears? Well, Naruto had never kissed, and he never planned to. He had been asked out many times in high school and he had accepted a few. It was just that when it came to the kissing part, Naruto became a little squeamish. It was probably those coloured, fat, sparkly and fake puckered lips. Didn't girls understand how uninviting lipstick looked? Not surprisingly, Naruto's actions usually ended up with one of them dumping the other.

And now this same person was expected to have an all out make out session that followed right through to the end. With a guy as well!

Naruto narrowed his eyes to the side where Sasuke stood. What could _he_ be thinking? He was pretty sure he wasn't taking it all to well, seeing as during their audition (3), the Uchiha made it quite obvious that he was as pure as gold in this case. Even Naruto wasn't exactly a virgin, he had times when he needed to let go of the world and go beyond. However, his adventures in all these different women never consisted of even one peck on their shiny lips. These women never complained, they just probably felt lucky enough to be there.

Sasuke, on the other hand, also had many opportunities and you did not need the press to tell you that. Anytime you saw Sasuke there would always be a crowd of girls in the background. What was so abnormal about Sasuke's fan girls was that they did not trample on Sasuke or even chase him. They all kept a respectable distance, unlike Naruto's violent fans.

Another strange thing was that he wasn't jealous of Sasuke's looks. The man was beautiful and all he could feel was a slight pang of unwelcome admiration

Naruto turned completely around, his body facing Sasuke. He had to admit it was just the kissing, which would have to happen anyway, that scared him.

He saw the older man giving the shiny floor (as you can see, everyone seems to love the newly polished floor) a hard, painful stare. He wasn't very readable.

"Sasuke!" Jiraiya suddenly snapped, making both boys to jump slightly but Sasuke's gaze on the sparkly floor board was not disturbed. "I know you have never done something like this before but that just adds to flavour of the movie. It may not seem very decent of me to have a man such as yourself receiving him also but that's the way it goes." However, Jiraiya didn't appear in the least apologetic. He, infact, looked pretty proud of himself.

"Receiving?! What? I t…thought that would be Andrew…." Naruto stuttered, turning back to Sasuke for his own confirmation.

"You think I would be so unwilling to permanently stop you from walking?" Sasuke meekly muttered, almost inaudibly. He had not moved an inch since the demand Jiraiya had forced on them. For all this time, Naruto had not even been aware of his position…the thought made Sasuke feel as if the boy would see him in a slightly diverse light.

Not that he cared…it was just made him feel a little more self-conscious for some reason. He chose to stay quiet for a while longer; maybe he could avoid agreeing to anything.

"Naruto! How dare you come in here and not read any of my novel! How the hell are you supposed to make this production work if you don't even know what your doing?!" Jiraiya yelled, caught off guard, but quickly recovered and calmed himself down. He was too old to be hearing all of this rubbish.

"Er… I was going to start this evening, funnily enough." Naruto laughed uneasily, scratching the back of his head.

"You'd better. Now I'm waiting for your answers still, both of you." Jiraiya crossed his arms in a serious manner and proceeded to glance from one of them to the other. He had been getting more and more agitated with the long drawn out muteness.

Naruto turned completely around to face the silent Uchiha. He opened his mouth to say something until he noticed he was face to face with a head-full of hair. Naruto really could not read the man whatsoever.

Not completely sure of his actions, Naruto slowly brought his hand to grip Sasuke's chin, slowly tilting it up to face him. He had half expected Sasuke to swat it away. Instead the Uchiha allowed him to continue his demonstrations.

Naruto stared into the hopeless and defenceless face of the man of whom did not have the strength to control his facial features or his body. He just continued to drown himself in Naruto's warm ocean blue pools, relaxing his weight onto the others hand.

Naruto's eyes widened as his studied Sasuke in an attempt to see what he was thinking. The raven looked so breathtaking. His eyes were glazed with a shiny coating of some unreadable emotion as he gazed up at him, half lidded. Long eyelashes covered most of his visible dark orbs, but Naruto was certain that the other boy was scared.

He had almost dropped Sasuke when he also noticed how his eyes were screaming "help me!" The expression on the raven looked so open…

'..and so free to take advantage of' something in his head roared. Naruto without question, abruptly bombed the side of his brain that contained the echoing voice. A softer voice sounded in the undamaged side of Naruto's strong consciousness. 'There's nothing wrong with admiring another human beings beauty,' the voice reassured. Naruto suddenly found it alright to accept that he had never seen anything so erotic in his entire life, but quickly regretted it when he realised he had allowed his body to accept it too.

He started to sweat slightly, he just couldn't understand why Sasuke was affecting him so much.

"Sasu-chan…is this okay with you?" he cooed softly. Naruto gulped inwardly at the uncontrolled tone of his voice. Sasuke's eyes widened slightly and a huge evident blush spread across his face.

'So cute. ' Naruto closed his eyes as he hissed quietly, feeling a shock of excitement travel down his spine.

"Mmm…" Naruto sighed, opening his eyes to look down into the ravens. "I won't say yes unless you do," he said, giving him the warmest smile he could muster.

Sasuke felt as if he was going to turn into a puddle of melted human mush and ignored the blur disturbing his vision which was trying to focus on Naruto's crystal eyes. For some reason, he actually didn't care anymore. The _thought _of letting Naruto have his way with him didn't disturb him at all (it was quite the opposite actually). If he wasn't so afraid of it happening in reality, then he would have said something like 'whatever', in response to Jiraiya's demand.

Naruto bit is lip silently when he noticed Sasuke's eyes watering slightly, and the fact that the proud Uchiha chose not to turn away from him worried him more then just a little.

"I'm sorry, Jiraiya, but we both refuse to carry out your request," Naruto stated finally, brushing his thumbs over the shorter boy's closed eyelids.

"Sasuke-" Jiraiya pointlessly started.

"Oh come on Ero-Sennin, it's an obvious hell no. I wouldn't want to have sex with me either…" Naruto muttered discernibly, the last part incomprehensible. Naruto wasn't too pleased when he felt a pang of sadness come over him.

Jiraiya stood there, flabbergasted, with his mouth opening and closing in an attempt to protest. There was absolutely nothing he could do to change their minds, and he found himself too shocked to even comment on Sasuke's sudden depression.

Jiraiya honestly was not all that bothered about the sex ordeal any more. The two could easily act those scenes to the standard he wanted, he could tell by just looking at the pair of them.

Why the drastic change of mind? Jiraiya knew this because he was struggling to contain himself from having a heavy nose bleed.

He had watched the two silently, observing how much out of character Sasuke appeared. The man had entered the role of Ray and Jiraiya found it quite cute, the way his seemingly tiny hands gripped Naruto's arms, showing that he wanted Naruto to let go of him but at the same time he was clinging on to the boy for dear life.

Naruto let his fingers from his free hand run through the dark haired man's long fringe, combing it backwards. Sasuke's head tried to lean into Naruto's retreating hand, earning him a pat on the head. Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, his blush spreading far and wide.

Naruto dropped his hand from Sasuke's chin and all of a sudden Jiraiya could feel the mood change back to normal. Sasuke turned to Naruto and went back to glaring at him. Naruto just winked in response, chuckling when Sasuke's dark expression turned into one of discomfiture. Sasuke, in his uneasiness, started to lightly scratch under his chin- where Naruto had gripped earlier.

"Alright kids, prove to me you can make a good movie and I'll let you guys off. You don't seem to hate each other as much as it may seem." He smirked, seeing Sasuke turn his head away.

"Okay people! You are free to go. Sasuke, before you start your angst ritual, make sure you remember to fit lunch into your schedule." Jiraiya advised sarcastically, his smirk growing wide enough to allow a glimpse of his perfect teeth.

Sasuke snapped his head back to the older man, giving him his most lethal death glare. "I'll take you on anytime any place old man, just tell me when your ready to be sent into a new world." he said through gritted teeth. But he was not really affected by the mans words. He was mostly irritated because of himself. Why had he been so careless, so stupid? To Jiraiya that was probably the first episode of his first soap.

"Naaa, I already know you want Naruto, not me." Jiraiya almost warned, returning the glare with one of his own.

What the hell was that supposed to mean. Sasuke blushed furiously.

Meanwhile, Naruto was scared and confused, and he didn't like it when he was confused. The fact that the two were now intensively discussing how Sasuke should beat the crap out of him made him want to run all the way home. He grew less confused when he realised Jiraiya was just making a few harmless dirty suggestions. That sort of explained everything.

"I don't think Naruto will object to your assertiveness. Maybe he likes it that way-"

"Oh God! Your mouth is full of shit! You need help, you sick old man. How could you describe all that rubbish to me so casually? Don't you have any shame?!"

"Nope," Jiraiya shrugged.

"You know perfectly well I wouldn't do any of that even if there was a gun pointing at my head."

Jiraiya just shook his head in disbelief. "I think you might find you'll be doing a _lot_ of that to him in rehearsals." he chuckled, jabbing his thumb in the blondes direction.

'What did I do to deserve this?' Naruto thought as Sasuke brought his agitated face to look at him.

Randomly remembering what his old friend, Sai, had informed him, 'A smile is the best way to get out of any sticky situation,' Naruto happily grinned, earning him an odd look from Sasuke, and one of amusement belonging to Jiraiya.

Well, at least they had stopped bickering.

"Naruto." Sasuke commenced, strolling towards him with one eyebrow raised.

He leaned up to cup the younger boys face with his cold hands, feeling a rush of heat travel throughout his body when he felt Naruto's soft warm skin.

Naruto was caught off guard as he felt himself being pulled down to face the Uchiha, leaving him with a careless show of nervousness.

"Sometimes I think your too innocent to even be your age…never mind the demon I thought you were last month." he stated blankly. "The expression your making to this old mans words is ill-chosen. You can't possibly feel any need to accept any more of the garbage falling from his mouth."

When Naruto did not respond he clapped the younger boys cheeks with his palms, intending to wake him up. The blonde swiftly caught the ravens light hands and his dazed expression morphed into one of earnestness. Sasuke had the urge to take a step back, but the boys secure hold on him was immovable.

Naruto leant down and stationed his mouth at the side of Sasuke's ear.

"Don't underestimate me Sa-su-ke. " he whispered, his breathe causing shivers down Sasuke's spine. "I was only smiling because I was imagining you doing all of those dirty things-" Naruto brought his head in front of Sasuke, making their noses brush against the others, "-to me."

He brought himself up again to ruffle the ravens hair and grinned. "I'm looking forward to it." he said, winking.

Sasuke felt the strange urge to suppress a giggle as Naruto took his hands again.

'What the hell?!' Reality hit the Uchiha like a bolder. What the hell was he doing, acting so 'un-robust'

"Oh Sasuke, I really wish you were open to all those presents I know Naruto wants to give to you. Damn you virgin…" Jiraiya grumbled.

'Who the hell do these guys think they are, treating _me_ like…like this?!' the man mentally carped, not being capable of speech, seeing as he was concentrating on how Naruto moved their hands down and held them by his sides, letting their position linger on for a while longer.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I need to eat something before I die of starvation!" Jiraiya bolted towards the exit. "Don't forget about the press conference on Friday!" and with that, the man was gone, leaving the two alone…all alone.

Dropping Sasuke's hands, Naruto turned his head towards the doorway and watched his boss actually run to the escalator.

He turned back to Sasuke, who seemed to be distressed, but saw how quickly the boy became expressionless when he noticed he was being watched.

"Ne…Sasuke, do you think it's even possible for someone to be _that _hungry?"

The other man scoffed. "No one but you…and no, I have no idea what he's up to. Now you'll have to excuse me. I have a life I need to get back to, unlike dobes like you…if other dobes like you actually exist."

"Go to hell TEME!"

"No…I'm trying to leave it." Sasuke stated coolly.

"BASTARD!" Naruto instinctively retorted.

"Usuratonkachi." Sasuke folded his arms, amused.

"MONSTER!"

"Idiot." Sasuke said sincerely. Did this guy have some sort of multi-mind problem?

"UGLY!" the blonde snapped, frowning at his small range of vocabulary.

"You can't say that when your hair looks like that. That demonstrates an example of something parallel to the term 'Nasty'."

"Dictionary worm…"Naruto muttered, patting his blonde spikes.

"You make me sick." the raven informed nonchalantly. He turned swiftly and began to head towards the escalator.

"Call me," he smirked, looking back.

Naruto's heart rate increased rapidly, draining colour from his face for the blood to keep him standing.

Sasuke approached the lift, and turned back to his partner.

"I'd be happy to help you if you get stuck on a word, star head."

"…SHUT UP TEME!"

"No."

"…BASTARD!"

"You've already said that, dobe."

"You've already said _that one _too…"

"That's because it's the perfect word to describe you. Dobe."

Naruto did not get the chance to get back at him, nor had he the ability. He was never a quitter, however when it came to Sasuke….

"Sasuke…" he murmured softly. He lifted his heavy arms and brought his hands to cup his own face- just like Sasuke had done no longer than five minutes ago. He could still feel the cold sting of the soft palms.

He shook his head violently. The thing to do was to not think about it, and besides, Sakura was probably waiting for him outside the building. He couldn't keep her any longer.

--

"Ground floor. Doors opening." Jiraiya ceased his little desperate dance and bolted out of the lift with his hands covering his face. He continuously cursed whilst frantically searching for the men's room.

"What's wrong with me!? I get asked to write a stupid gay book by my energising editor…and then…and then _this_ happens! This has to be the last time I follow a request so blindly! Stupid woman and her stupid hypnotising charms! She even made me pre-claim to the whole world that I would be making this a trilogy! I'm such a fool! I HATE the media…"

He spotted the disabled toilet and locked himself in it instantly, leaning his back against the door as he forced himself to catch his breath quickly.

"Stupid Tsunade! Okay…now think old men. Old men…old men…old men…men…men.." Jiraiya's eyes became glazed as he felt himself drool over the his mental image of Naruto and Sasuke acting in one of his _scenes_.

"He…he…heheheeeeeeeee…hAW?!" Jiraiya sniffed up some incoming blood abruptly and forced pictures of old women into his mind.

He sighed in relief for the second time that day as he felt himself gradually become 'softer'.

He waved off the wrinkly things corrupting his unfortunately vivid imagination as he sat himself on the loo (with the lid cover down) and took a square of toilet paper from the roll, and began to delicately dab his nose.

"What's wrong with me?" he mumbled frowning, pulling on the roll of tissue in frustration.

"I know I'm not gay…so _WHY_?" he growled, pulling faster…and faster, until he yanked off the last square.

He sighed again, and decided he would stop sighing. He could not dwell on this any longer. He had to come to a conclusion.

He straightened himself up and slowly made his way to the mirror over the basin. He stared into his eyes, as if he was looking for an answer. Not finding one, he lent down over the sink and unconsciously splashed hot water over his face. He hissed, quickly feeling for the cold water tap with his eyes squeezed shut.

The water grew colder, so he gathered some up in his hands and drenched his face in the icy liquid. He continued until he felt he was fully refreshed and fully awake.

"I have just found the best couple in the world. They will have the same effect on all watchers world wide!" the novelist stared at his toothy grin in the mirror ahead of him.

"Their going to make me rich. Retirement, here I come!"

_**--END OF LONG FLASH BACK-- **_

I allowed myself to smile. I would be able to see that dobe again. I had to admit, he entertained me and brought a merciless light into my dreary old world.

--

_Chapter __'__Sasuke__'__s brain__'__ complete!_

AN: Well, I did warn you that this was my first…but please review. I'm the type of person who appreciates criticism. So, if you've seen something/things that annoy you or you just don't like…REVIEW…(please?…)

(1) have you noticed? 0.o

(2) yes…-- of course Sasuke has a dark past/present, and it will be revealed all in due time readers…all in due time …(well maybe…)

(3)- you will know what went on in _those _later XD

Hopefully you'll take my advice and review, the more I get ..the better the story will become. I have to admit this first chapter was a little…in the past…but believe me, it will get better.

I'm also open to any suggestions for the plot, even though I have one planned already. I will be making this a lemon too…obviously…I mean: AV actors…of course this story's gonna be in a fruit bowl. (crappy joke, I know T-T)

You can leave me any old comment…even if its not helpful, I just want to know what you guys think.

Now I'll stop begging for reviews and spend this time writing my next chapter.

Keep reading :)


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